Top 10 Least Favorite CM Radio Singles of 2009

Welcome to 2010! I told you I would make a least favorite list for 2009’s country radio singles and here it is (prolonged, yes, but it’s here). My Christmas and New Years were interesting, but good (first time my family and I have ever celebrated Christmas at a Thai restaurant – long story haha – and I also spent New Years Eve for the first time as a 21-year old in downtown Denver, which was entertaining and freezing). I’ve been lazy about going to the gym this past month, so now that this new decade is amongst us, I must partake to that healthier lifestyle again either tonight or tomorrow (probably tomorrow lol).

Keep in mind, like I said in my previous entry, I didn’t listen to a lot of country radio this year, so I am not aware of all of the bad songs from this year and I’m only going by what I hear and remember.  And the hippo? To be explained soon. Now to my list of…

Top 10 Least Favorite Country Music Radio Singles of 2009:

  • 10. “River of Love” – George Strait:
    • Now you know why the top picture is hanging out there: I think that river looks filthy and those hippos are ugly, which is kinda like the song (hippos are very deadly too! – the comparisons can go on and on).  King George is my favorite artist of all time, but not even he can get away with recording a bad song.  This is one shining example. I don’t hate the song and there are definitely worst songs out there, but even with its radio success, it was an unappealing choice for a single, from an artistic standpoint and considering he had better choices from his Troubadour album.  The only sorta-saving grace of this Chesney-like downgrade is the steel guitar solo and George’s voice, otherwise, it’s just filler I try to like and occasionally sing along with, yet it’s bad stuff. This river stinks!
  • 09. “Ride” – Martina McBride:
    • Another one of my favorites has found themselves on my naughty-list: Martina.  Lately, she’s kinda hit-or-miss with me, so this single wasn’t exactly a shocker.  Basically a “This Ones for the Girls” Part II-ish thing, but that’s not good.  I’m a very optimistic person, but give me a break: I guess it’s the feeling that this song is geared towards teenage girls again that gets me, and even if it isn’t, it just sounds like it. The lyrics are just weak. Vocals just okay this time.
  • 08. “Sissy’s Song” – Alan Jackson:
    • I’m definitely getting burned at the stake for this one haha! I know the back-story to this and I appreciate his idea for a tribute song to her and all, but no disrespect intended, I just could never get into this one. The production, first of all, I do applaud its simplicity, however when you combine that sorta production with the melody and the vocals, it just sounds like a gnawing nursery rhyme to me. That being said, I love Alan Jackson and even though I’m not a fan of this song, I can see why people would embrace it.  Just not my cup of tea.
  • 07. “It’s America” – Rodney Atkins:
    • Opportunistic. Guaranteed to be a hit because if someone says they no likey, they’re labeled as a terrorist-sympathizer lol. I love America, although when he sings about it, you almost feel ashamed haha (I’m kidding, but you know what I mean. It could have been done much better, all around – He’s only had one good single). And he needs to take off that damn cap!…

  • 06. “Alright” – Darius Rucker:
    • Wtf Darius? You’re supposed to distinguish yourself artistically from the other mainstream country artists, not sound exactly like them.  I’m glad he was able to make a smooth transition into the format, though with material like this, I don’t see him making much of an impact (quality-wise, of course, not commercially because you know radio eats this kinda fare right up).  I liked his first two singles. Not this one. That CMA performance didn’t help at all.
  • 05. “It Happens” – Sugarland:
    • Yeah shh…it does happen, like this crap lol. Sometimes at work, I put on the local radio station and every time I hear this song come on, I hang my head a little bit in embarrassment.  This song could work, if not for the vocals, in my honest opinion. Like fingernails on the chalkboard this is. They’ve got other decent work, so don’t know why this was chosen. Still an acquired taste, which I do not seek.
  • 04. “Why Don’t We Just Dance?” – Josh Turner:
    • Another disappointment from another artist I really like.  Though I like the fact that it’s country, truth is it’s just a stupid tune throughout. Supposed to be a “fun song”, yet it turns out sounding dopey and lame. I heard in an interview Josh himself doesn’t even like to dance, or something like that, so consequently it transformed into what the single’s level of interest became: nada.
  • 03. “The Climb” – Miley Cyrus:
    • Totally. Not. Listenable.  When I believe that that Taylor Swift sings better than you, it’s more of a slap in the face if anything. I used to hear this on the pop radio station at work, and that’s the genre where it belongs, still it made a dent on country’s radar, so I included it.  Don’t have much to say about it otherwise that I’m forever angry at Billy Ray for casting this upon us.
  • 02. “Best Days of Your Life” – Kellie Pickler:
    • Speaking of off-pitch singing and Swift, we have come full circle with #2. If you played any Mickey Mouse tape backwards in reverse and added some glitter and nail polish, this is what manifests itself. Thank God I didn’t hear this one too often :).
  • 01. “Sideways” – Dierks Bentley:
    • Here we are at the top of the bottom.  I did not make this decision lightly, but it became pretty evident when I was going through my list. Make no mistake, I like Dierks for the most part and his music is almost 50/50 with me, so him recording and releasing this -album-filler-infused song is a step in the wrong direction. The music video totally makes this song even more terrible  than it is, which is why it became number one on the charts haha. This single puts other super-corny overloaded “party” songs to shame … and I detest tracks that have people singing along with them (only a few can do it well, but could not work with this). When you listen to the radio in ten years from now, this will all be but a memory.

It seems to me, looking through my list, some of it were artists I really like who seemed to majorly dishearten me (and some of their other good fans), with their massive airplay-ed singles that lacked substance and quality that their other material does. Not up to par with what they could do, though I still ruffled some feathers but only because they had it coming :). I’m surprised that Rascal Flatts and Taylor Swift aren’t on the list lol (No Rascals because I didn’t really listen to their music this past year and Swift because her singles weren’t that bad, to be honest). Happy New Year!


1 Comment

  1. Ha. A couple of your choices made my best-of list: “Sissy’s Song” and “It Happens.” I admit “It Happens” is just silly, but I actually like the way Nettles sings it…and she’s actually not one of my favorite vocalists. As for “Sissy’s Song”, I can kind of hear what you mean, but I still really like the simplicity, emotion and vulnerable emotion of possible doubt. I think it was a bright spot on a pretty dull album from Alan.

    I’m with you on most of your other choices though, even if I can think of some songs that I consider to be even worse, i.e., Toby Keith’s “American Ride.”

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